so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
