New invention idea: vibrating tampons
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
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