Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
