Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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