we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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