I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
