its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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