Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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