So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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