Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
