my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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