Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
