I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
