Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
