remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
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