I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
