I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
