Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
