party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
