She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
