i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Please, let me fuck your mom
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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