What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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