whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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