girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize