he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
