u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
