so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
