Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
