and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
