WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Randomize
