Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize