haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
