Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
