last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
