He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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