ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
