Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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