whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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