It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
