Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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