I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
