Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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