i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
