i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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