we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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