Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
