I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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