Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize