did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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