Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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