I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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