elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
