I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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