I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
