you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
