It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I need to sanitize my soul.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
