I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
