YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
