Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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