I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
